Four Thousand pageviews. Awesome. Thank you everyone, for the hits, the favourites, and everything i've added to my fav gallery. RABU RABU!!!!
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I've been going through a phase of re-evaluation where my art is concerned. I've been thinking a lot about my influences, from real life, DA, and art history.

I guess i've been wondering what the way forward with my art is - i've been working away for years, and while sometimes things just seemed to fall into place, other times (like now) i have to really stop and take stock.

My development goes through phases - the times when i just work freely, and try to forget everything i know in the hope of discovering something new, times when i work hard to develop a new skill or style, and times when i need to think about what it is i want to achieve.

The thing is, my goals were always set very high. Ridiculously, given how sub par my artwork was when i started off - i had talent that people could see, but when i started a lot of people wondered what the point was, and (can possibly be forgiven for)thought it was a waste of time, when i should have been working in a supermarket or something.

I could see all these amazing artists and illustrators, and i wanted to be like them. Art was this huge field that i didnt understand, but i wanted to contribute, and perhaps be remembered for it. I guess creativity was already a part of me at a time when my skills were lacking.

So i decided to get some skills. I dredged up every drawing/painting/collage excercise i had ever been taught or read in a book, and re did them all. I experimented in different ways of using paint - particularly using it in ways i had been told were bad habits, and deliberately going against the advise of how to books.

I started carrying sketchpads around and sitting in cafe's, trying to catch the likeness of people walking in the streets (Toulouse-Lautrec was famous for this.)

I aimed at standards so far beyond my reach, because i understood that if i fell short i'd still be further along the path than if i aimed well within my abilities and succeeded.

I read about famous artists, and discovered new ones. I studied illuminations alongside illustration and calligraphy, trying to figure out what i believed the best balance between art and music was.

I studied drawing in pen, pencil ink, painting in oils, acryilics and watercolour, architecture, product design, illustration, illumination, calligraphy, interior design, sculpture, the artwork of children, photography, music. I tried to find the feelings that unite them in real life as they are linked in my head.

I read books on Gustav Klimt, Egon Shiele, John Howe, Alan Lee, Tolkien, the Impressionists and post Impressionists, the Renaissance, Iron and Bronze age sculpture and monuments, medieval manuscripts, celtic art, Art Nouveau, Art Deco, Cubism, Fauvism, Modernism, the Renaissance, Manga/Anime, Graphic Design, Fashion Design, Fashion illustration, Jewellery, Tattoo design, motorcycles, counter cultural movements, Buddhism, psychology.

I discovered contemporary illustrators, such as David Mack, Dave McKean and Julie Verhoeven, and fell in love with contemporary illustration.

I make no apologies for my love of the female form - it comes from an attitude of worship, not perversion. It seemed natural in the beginning, when i was searching for qualities of sensitivity, elegance, beauty and style that i study the female figure, and the ways that women choose to represent themselves. They have these qualities in abundance - so the female figure has become my truest muse.

I have sought the advice of many successful artists and teachers - if i've had to struggle to move beyond where such advice can take me, its because these teachers have found their creative voice, and their own ways of working. I'm still looking for mine.

I dont know how many of you have looked through my Sketchpad Retrospective - i posted this to show my friends the effort i have put into my art. The first sketchpad photographed represents the time when i became sure that this was the path i wanted. The others all represent discovery and practice.

I always hoped to come to an understanding of which ways of working would suit each art/design situation best - but beyond a certain level there is only preference.

I still havent mastered my craft - if i started out as an apprentice, i'm at best a journeyman now, and being a true master is as far away as ever. I dont know if i'll make it, i'm not sure i can.

But i will not stop - i struggled through poverty, adversity. I have put up with critiscism from friends and relatives, i kept working through and after my mothers death.

I have my own vision, my own dream. This talent may be the only thing i've ever truly owned, because its the only thing i've truly worked for. i cant give up now, even when i dont know the way forward. My art is everything.

"There is love, and there is work, we have but one heart." Edgar Degas.

I sound self obsessed, but i think obsession is what it takes. When i think of all the artists who suffered to get there work out there, i think perhaps i'm delusional, or obsessed with giving my art a value that nobody else will ever see.

Everyone gets judged eventually. Someday the tables will turn in my favour, and i will get the mastery i'm struggling towards.
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I was going to write a bit about the notion that art is dead, that everything has been done before, but i'll save that for another time.

Instead i wanted to take the time for some watcher love - for the people i talk to most -

The girls -










and the guys - (who probably wont appreciate hugs)





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